It’s been a while, whiners. I feel like I need to update you on what’s happening out there. Turns out its some pretty heady stuff.

After rushing through the preseason NBA stuff at breakneck speed, I’ve slowed down to a crawl, posting very irregularly. Am I busy in my work and personal life? Sure. Are fantasy sports too excruciating to even mention in public, never mind write about? Of course. I’m playing fantasy hockey, for heaven’s sake.

In fact, before I get to the larger piece of “news”, let me throw a fantasy hockey whine at you to see if I still have my fastball: This being the first season every playing fantasy hockey, I of course have no idea what I’m doing. I drafted randomly. Yet I’m taking my team far more seriously, than, say, the Blagojevich scandal. In this head to head league I’m currently a strong 55-40-14, the third-best record in the league. Tonight, I nearly blew a gasket. I have Chicago’s Jonathan Toews and Edmonton’s Shawn Horcoff, and needed to choose between them for a lineup spot this week. I couldn’t decide, so I went with Toews for no reason other than a coin flip. Of course tonight the game isn’t even over yet as of this writing and the Blackhawks are up 8-1 on the Oilers. Toews has no goals or assists, while Horcoff has Edmonton’s only goal and on the power play no less. I’m warning you, Greg: fantasy hockey is no sanctuary. It’s as bad as basketball and baseball and nearly one tenth as bad as football, that’s how bad it is. I’m ready to dive in front of a Zamboni.

But I digress. There are big things happening for yours truly as we speak. Starting, I think, next week, my weekly fantasy hoops column for RotoExperts.com will be syndicated on Yahoo!’s fantasy basketball home page. Yahoo! is pulling RotoExperts content for basketball and my column has been chosen as one of the pieces. Every week. Wow. So, with my other gig at RotoExperts taking up a ton of time as well (Graphics Guy), Rotowhine has become somewhat of an afterthought.

I don’t see it changing too much. I’m not going to be able to whine too often, so Greg’s going to have to pick me up. If there are any serious, witty scribes out there who want to help out, please email us. But I’m going to have to throw myself in an entirely new, exciting direction.

Don’t worry, I’ll still be whining in spirit (or in person on the phone with Greg every night about our basketball teams). But I have to devote everything I have to this new opportunity. RotoExperts managing partner Ben Ice was kind enough to bring me on this summer as a graphic artist and potential NBA writer. I’ve been contributing since the start of the season. Believe me when I tell you that RotoExperts is taking the fantasy industry by storm. I started Rotowhine to get noticed, and knew it wouldn’t last forever. I wish I was better at marketing, coding, SEO, promotions, ass-kissing… all of that. Greg and I have written some tremendous stuff over the years here that not a lot of people have seen. If you have been reading, thanks a ton. I’ll still be checking in periodically.

The future of Rotowhine is shaky. That’s understood. But this is our little corner of the web. We need it to survive the torn ACLs, missed free throws, blown saves, and now plus/minus. I won’t be here as often, but you know where to find me. And Greg has enough whines in him to keep this going for the rest of the millenium.

Thanks for reading,

Jeff

As soon as I drafted Steve Nash in the second round this year, I new it was too good to be true. Not only had I taken Amare Stoudemire in the first round, but Nash fell to the late second, to where he would have been a steal if his numbers from a year ago held up. Well, those numbers haven’t held up.

The Suns are now a grind-it-out, dump-it-down-to-Shaq team and both Stoudemire and Nash are brutal. Stoudemire is still fantastic, mind you, but if D’Antoni was the coach and Shaq (who, by the way, will never get hurt all year, I guarantee it) wasn’t there, Amare would be averaging 30 points a game.

I predict a coup before the new year, probably after a Suns losing streak where a clearly miserable Nash demands changes or a trade, or threatens to bolt to New York on the cheap in 2010 with LeBron, Wade, and God knows who else… maybe Amare.

Since I have both of these Suns, it is doubly-painful to watch. The simple switch of Mike D’Antoni to New York is going to make the dreadful Chris Duhon a better fantasy player than Steve Nash? It’s happening before our eyes, and I wish I were blind.

We’re barely into the NBA season, and I’ve compiled a master list of things that could only happen to me:

1. The Suns offense will be terrible after I took Amare Stoudemire and Steve Nash with my first two picks in one league.

2. With both Kevin Martin and Francisco Garcia injured, John Salmons is merely average after being amazing last season when both were healthy.

3. Jason Richardson, my fourth-round pick (a steal?) is much worse than last year, and recently had exploratory knee surgery without warning which determined he had nothing wrong with him.

4. I flip a coin and pick up Erick Dampier over Luc Richard Mbah a Moute hours before Mbah a Moute goes for 19 and 17 against Memphis. Dampier played three minutes in an overtime game vs. the Knicks Sunday.

5. After spraining his foot in the first quarter of the first game of the year, my No. 2 center, Greg Oden, will come off the bench the rest of the year and average 22 minutes a game.

6. Tony Allen averaged 1.0 point per game this past week, a four-game week for the Celtics. He also had zero steals. I started him over Caron Butler. In the game before I had him in my lineup he had 23 points.

7. I’m leading the free world not only in injuries, but in Random Games Missed With No Warning.

Every day of basketball so far has been the equivalent of a football Sunday. Yes, it’s been that bad.

If anyone thought fantasy sports ruled too much of my life before, don’t look now. For one of the few times since I’ve been running my basketball league, I didn’t check our league standings after a paltry three games on Thursday evening. I had a busy Friday and only had Stephen Jackson’s pathetic effort the night before.

Last night, there was pretty much a full slate of games and I had a mediocre evening at best. What saved my night, I thought, was Rajon Rondo’s seven-steal performance in a 13-steal night for my squad. Lo and behold, I dropped a point in steals and the third-place team in this category nearly caught me. So now I have to monitor the league stats like an Atlanta Hawk because in no way should this have been possible.

What a week. Durant missed a game, Calderon missed most of the second half the other night and is doubtful for tomorrow, and Yao Ming never sees the ball as the central figure for Houston’s dancing Rockettes. Memo to self - never draft a Rick Adelman-coached player - ever again.

To call the Kansas City Chiefs’ 2008 season “tumultuous” would be a huge understatement.

Their problems began in the offseason, when their overly hands-on, ego-maniac of a GM, Carl Peterson, sat on his ass for the entire summer and failed to address the team’s most glaring need- a viable starting quarterback.

So, Herm Edwards was left to face the daunting task of choosing between “old career backup who whose skillset will never get us anywhere” (Damon Huard) and “young waste of a draft pick who will likely never amount to anything more than a career backup” (Brodie Croyle). Herm either flipped a coin or chose to get on board with this year’s theme of “change” and put his money on the young guy.

Too bad for Herm. The young guy’s body didn’t hold up for longer than a game. And, to pour salt on the wound, the old guy only lasted a few games before his body suffered the same season-ending fate. The Chiefs season was over before it even began, and Larry Johnson’s value as a fantasy running back was destined to suffer the same doom…

…that was, UNTIL…

…third-stringer Tyler Thigpen played in his fifth ever NFL game. After posting a QB Rating in the 40s through his first 4 games, the guy apparently had a divine intervention. In week 8, Thigpen connected on 25 of 36 passes for 280 yards and two touchdowns, and committed no turnovers, only to have his brilliant performance ruined by his defense.

Thigpen, who I’m going to boldly label “Fastest-Learning Third String QB I Have Ever Seen,” has followed up his first great performance with two more solid starts, throwing 4 more TD’s without a turnover and leading an offense that had averaged just 12.5 points per game in its first six games to a three-game average of 23.3 points per game. Heck, the guy has even managed to make WR Mark Bradley look good- a notable achievement in itself.

To top it off, Thigpen has been doing this with a rotating backfield of Jamaal Charles, Kolby Smith, and Dantrell Savage, while Larry Johnson served a suspension for his addiction to showering unwilling ladies with alcoholic beverages.

This sets us up perfectly for my main point: If you are a Larry Johnson owner, celebrate, because your patience has paid off. Get him off your bench, back into the starting lineup for this week’s game against the Saints and watch the fantasy points start to flow in FAST.

If you don’t own Larry Johnson and need another running back before the fantasy trading deadline, go and orchestrate a trade for Grandmama IMMEDIATELY.

At this point, most people who haven’t been following the Chiefs very closely will see that they’ve lost three straight, they’re 1-8 overall, and the season is lost. Their hopes for Johnson won’t be very high.

But, while Johnson’s value to the average fantasy owner might have hit rock bottom, one man’s trash will certainly prove to be another man’s treasure if you are able to secure him at this point in the season.

After watching Thigpen play for the last three games, I’m confident he’ll be able to keep up his high level of play, and when Johnson gets back into the lineup this week, he’ll have big play opportunities.

The Chiefs’ next 6 games are a cakewalk in terms of the defenses they’ll face: New Orleans, Buffalo, Oakland, Denver, San Diego, and Miami.

Over the final six games, I predict that a healthy Johnson will average about 90 yards per game on the ground and 30 through the air, with a touchdown. There is also huge potential for monster performances against Oakland and Denver, two of the most atrocious defenses in the league.

The return of Grandmama is upon us. Get him now, while he’s still somewhat under the radar.

That was quick.

Night one of the NBA, three measly games, and my season is already over. Let’s start in Boston, where I attended the Celtics-Cavaliers game to watch the C’s hoist the ‘08 championship banner. Fondly remembering the Piston and Laker series on the video screen reminded me of how the light went on for Ray Allen. He was hitting everything, playing with confidence and finally fitting in. Since I had him on my fantasy team for his awful regular season, his strong finish was the only reason I went back to the well again and drafted him this year. I got Walter Ray in the ninth round, a good spot for a Top-5 three-point shooter and 90-percent free throw guy. Of course but what to my wandering eyes should appear, but Ray Allen playing 41 practically invisible minutes and finishing with eight points. He also went 1-for-2 at the line. I swear I’ve seen every one of his missed free throws and would guess he shot 64 percent from the line last year on memory.

I got home from the game in time to find out that Greg Oden, my sixth-round pick, lasted 13 minutes before leaving with a sprained foot. So the only two guys I had going were completely and utterly awful. Just pathetic.

Season over already? It’s not even November. Remind me again as to why I love fantasy basketball.

Brad Rysz has 10 stats you need to know entering NFL Week 7, with whines.

1. Jason Campbell hasn’t thrown an interception this season. Every other starting quarterback has thrown at least two. That’s a pretty miraculous stat. But six touchdowns? Dude, you got Santana Moss, Chris Cooley and Antwaan Randle El. Get ‘er done.

2. The Indianapolis Colts have given up one passing TD this season. For a secondary without Bob Sanders, this is pretty amazing. Think about that if you are deciding to start Aaron Rodgers this weekend.

3. Darren McFadden is averaging 5.1 yards per carry. What happened the one time McFadden carries over 15 times? He ran for 164 yards and a score. His lack of carries makes me want to strangle whoever is coaching the Raiders. Feed McFadden the rock. Now.

4. Reggie Bush has the second most receptions (41) in the NFL. For those in PPR leagues, Bush is THE best fantasy RB you can have. For those in a PPR league that includes kick return TDs…Bush’s value is bigger than Kim Kardashian’s rump.

5. Jason Witten has 152 more yards than Chris Cooley (who is second in tight end receiving yards). Witten is a stud, plain and simple. And the tight end position this season sucks more than my hangover right now. Honestly, trade one of your top receivers for Witten. He’s worth it.

6. Chris Perry has five fumbles this season. Couple that with a 2.6 yards per carry average and you have one really bad running back. Hello, Cedric Benson? You really couldn’t have two worse options. This is why the Bengals suck, people!

7. Earnest Graham leads the NFL with three runs over 40+ yards. I respect Warrick Dunn and his Heroes-like ability to never age, but come on. Graham is averaging 5.6 yards per carry and has only 72 carries on the season, tied for 22nd in the NFL. I don’t own him, but if I did, I’d be really pissed.

8. Joe Flacco has one touchdown to seven interceptions. No real analysis here. Just wanted to throw out how much Flacco has sucked this season. Shane Falco is obviously the better quarterback who has F,L,A,O,C in their name.

9. Drew Brees is completing 71 percent of his passes. Wow. To put that in perspective: If 10 percent of my pick-up lines worked, I’d be extremely successful. 71 percent? That’s just ridiculous. “Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Cause you are the only Ten-I-See.” Never works.

10. Greg Jennings has 12 catches of at least 20 yards. The next highest is eight. The dude is a stud like Kristen Bell is hot. Makes me want to kill Donald Driver. But that’s neither here nor there.

I own both Patrick Crayton and Roy Williams. So I’m not sure if I should be happy or pissed. Williams has to improve on his awful numbers with the Lions by lining up opposite Terrell Owens and in a system that resembles an offense (unlike Detroit). But now Patrick Crayton is useless to me. And that blows. I picked up Crayton in three of my most important leagues and had him pegged for 1,000 yards and eight TDs this year. Crayton had scored in two consecutive games and was finally getting the attention of Tony Romo.

I like Crayton because you have to respect someone who made it to the “League” after playing his college ball at Northwestern Oklahoma State. Yes, I did confirm, Northwestern Oklahoma State does exist and you can check it out here. If that isn’t enough, you don’t hear a word from Crayton about his lack of looks, etc. Pretty amazing coming from someone who lines up opposite the biggest cry-baby in the history of the NFL. Yes, I’m talking about Terrell Owens.

All in all, I was a big fan of Crayton this year and I rewarded him with his presence on plenty of my teams. All the sudden, another WR diva, Roy Williams, demands a trade and viola! - Crayton is no longer fantasy-worthy. Like I said, I own Williams, so I’m mourning the loss of Crayton more than I am furious. I look forward to watching the Cowboys on Sunday Night Football and seeing Madden try to figure out why there is a Roy Williams on offense and defense for the Cowboys. Roy Williams was just out there catching passes… and Boom, there he is on defense. That’s one tough player. But, how does he change his jersey number in between..Al? He’s number 11 on offense, and then Bam… he’s 38 on defense. I’m also interested to see how Owens and Williams co-exist. It’s going to be very interesting, I’ll guarantee that. But I bet you won’t hear a word from Crayton about the whole situation. That’s just the type of dude that he is.

I didn’t realize how much Sarah Palin and I had in common. After reviewing my NBA breakout candidates from a year ago, it becomes clear that we are both completely unqualified in what we do. For Palin, her incompetence doesn’t seem to have an effect on the masses. For me, the death threats I have received for having Andrea Bargnani on my ‘07-08 list has been too much for one person to bear.

I’d like to thank my editor for again sending me out on this assignment. I promise to give 110 percent, to take it one day at a time, and to scribe this word-by-word. I even had a closed-door meeting with my writing coach before I began working on this, so there is no way I will fail.

5. Al Thornton, SF, LAC
The ghost of Andrea Bargnani might haunt me on this choice. Since I’ve never really seen him play, I’m not really sure how to gauge Thornton’s game. That said, by default he should put up silly numbers for the Paper Clips this season. There are a few chuckers on the roster (see: Davis, Baron and Davis, Richard), but there will be enough shots to go around on a team that will often be firing them up at will in an attempt to rally from behind. One of the Davis boys (Baron) played all 82 games last season, and there is no way he enters an NBA arena more than 70 times this year. Ricky will either come off the bench or supplant 47-year old Cuttino Mobley as the starter at the two. Any way you Kimbo slice it, Thornton will play big minutes, and if you can live with a horrendous field goal percentage, he will boast strong numbers across the board.
‘08-09 Projection: 17.2 ppg, 6.0 rpg, 2.5 apg, .435 fg, .747 ft, 0.6 3-pt, 1.0 spg, 0.6 bpg

4. Randy Foye, PG, MIN
The Whine Cellar goes to the well one more time with Foye as a breakout candidate. In his defense, he missed a chunk of the 2007-08 season with injuries. In 31 games after the all-star break, he averaged 14.3 points, 4.8 assists and an impressive 1.6 threes per contest, numbers that are bound to improve in ‘08-09. With a better balanced Timberwolves offense, Foye should enjoy a stellar campaign while running the point. Backup Sebastian Telfair just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah, but Foye is too good on both ends of the floor to not play 30-35 minutes a night. Scoop him up no later than the eighth round.
‘08-09 Projection: 14.7 ppg, 3.4 rpg, 5.7 apg, .442 fg, .830 ft, 1.6 3-pt, 1.2 spg, 0.1 bpg

3. Rodney Stuckey, PG, DET
I’m actually salivating at the thought of Chauncey Billups rolling an ankle. No disrespect intended to one of the great purnt guards of this era, but Stuckey is a truly exciting young player, capable of some fancy numbers. In fact, he’s so talented me thinks he’ll register 25-30 minutes of daylight off the Piston bench. Billups is getting up there in age and was already seeing his minutes limited. Detroit coach Michael Curry could also implement Stuckey at shooting guard when Richard Hamilton needs a spell. His shooting percentage could be ghastly, but this hard-nosed second-year player could be in store for a terrific season. The 11th round would be a nice spot for him.
‘08-09 Projection: 10.9 ppg, 2.8 rpg, 4.6 apg, .418 fg, .800 ft, 0.2 3-pt, 1.4 spg, 0.3 bpg

2. Devin Harris, PG, NJN
Make no mistake, the Nets will be an awful basketball team in 2008-09, but the talented Harris should be in store for a monumental season. After arriving from Dallas in the Jason Kidd deal, the speedy point guard averaged 15.4 points, 3.2 boards, 6.5 assists, 1.4 steals and 1.2 threes per game. Don’t expect his field goal percentage (.463) to remain this solid, but his numbers across the board should more than satisfy his owners. He has absolutely no competition for playing time, unless you consider former Clipper and Magic reserve Keyon Dooling a threat (and find a good psychotherapist if you do). Look to Harris no later than the fifth round.
Projection: 17.1 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 6.4 apg, .454 fg, .828 ft, 1.1 3-pt, 1.5 spg, 0.2 bpg

1. Jose Calderon, PG, TOR
In the N.S. Sherlock department, it looks as if there is no way Calderon can fail as the main man in Toronto. The only problem I forsee is that this looks too easy. I can almost guarantee that if I draft him, he will contract rickets within hours of the selection. Primarily in a time share with TJ Ford last season, Calderon finished the year, averaging 11.2 points and 8.3 assists, while shooting a blistering 52 percent from the field and 91 percent from the line. Minus Ford and with a full workload, Calderon could be a top five point guard in percentage leagues. Look no later than the third round for the heady Spaniard, who is just entering his prime.
‘08-09 Projection: 13.6 ppg, 3.0 rpg, 9.1 apg, .494 fg, .905 ft, 1.1 3-pt, 1.2 spg, 0.1 bpg

Others to watch: Sean May, Spencer Hawes, Andray Blatche, Nene, John Salmons, Nate Robinson, Mike Conley, Rudy Fernandez, Francisco Garcia, Amir Johnson

I’ve been duped. Fooled, if you will. Vernon Davis sucks. It took me five weeks to get the words out of my mouth, but I’ve said it. One more time: Vernon Davis sucks. I can’t tell you how good saying that makes me feel. For five weeks I’ve avoided this truth, and hoped that he would remind me why I yelled for joy and high-fived my friends when I drafted him this year. But after his recent zero-catch, zero-yard, zero-looks game, this just isn’t working out.

At 6′3, 253 pounds, Davis is a physical specimen. During a game in Week Four, Davis was seen pounding his chest and yelling at coaches. “It was just me being me,” Davis said of the incident. No, Vernon. You, being you, is having exactly five catches in five games this season. That’s horse-sh… I wasted an eighth-round pick on you for that? You are the 36th-rated tight end in my league. I had the audacity in my RotoExperts.com “Big Fat Claims” piece to predict that you would end the year as a Top-Five tight end. Vernon, you have made me look foolish and it won’t stand. I’m cutting ties, Vernon. It’s over. I’ve just officially dropped you and picked up Billy Miller. Yes, Vernon. You got dropped for friggin’ Billy Miller.

I feel like I can know move on with my fantasy football season. I don’t care if Miller catches exactly one pass, for exactly one yard this weekend, because that is progress, and progress is a good thing.