Once again everything I touch turns to maneur. I completed another dump-trade in my NL-only league in an effort to secure my annual second-place finish. I moved the indomitable Brad Lidge and a couple of Ring Dings for Greg Maddux, Aaron Harang and Rich Aurilia.

In start #1 as a Foxtrotter, Harang mistook my head for a toilet and allowed six runs on five hits and seven walks over 4.1 innings. Known for his pinpoint control, Harang hadn’t walked more than three batters in a game all year until of course he arrived at my rotisserie baseball complex.

I never watch Baseball Tonight, but last night I had the rare pleasure to see my best player of late, Jerry Hairston, get robbed on three separate plays, one by a decrepit and perpetually grimacing Jim Edmonds. I definitely lead the world in Web Gems against.

My team is falling apart at the seams as well as the pleats. Oh, did I mention that Harang is going for an MRI on his sore forearm? Dr. Death, James Andrews can’t be far behind.

Is Elton Brand really a Sixer? Look out below.