By Jeff Andriesse and Greg Fox
July 31, 2008
In the latest installment of On the Couch, Jeff and Greg pepper each other with questions related to the latests goings-on in the fantasy sports world. Feel free to join in the discussion in the Comments section.
Jeff (10:09 a.m.): There’s so much to talk about today with the Major League Baseball trade deadline, fantasy football just around the corner and the nutty offseason in the NBA. But before we get to all of that, I wanted to take a moment to congratulate us on ONE YEAR of Rotowhine. I wrote a semi-coherent paean yesterday, so I’d like your thoughts. This isn’t really a question, but: Happy Anniversary, Greg.
Greg (10:50 a.m.): The fact that we’ve been doing this for a year is a minor miracle. I’m referring to us having a semi-normal conversation because at this point I had envisioned nothing but white cotton, rubber and four walls. Do you remember the final scene in Psycho when Norman was in the cell? Something like that.
I enjoyed your paen. By the way, I sold our trunk on ebay, so I guess we’re going to have to move. Is paper the symbollic gift for one-year anniversaries? I think it is and you’ll be happy to know that I changed the roll.
Can we not talk about baseball today?
Jeff (11:25 a.m.): Over the last three weeks I’m absolutely on fire in baseball, and I think I’ve gained a half of a point. Hopeless. We can certainly skip the fantasy baseball, or maybe just the National League for your sanity. But it is trade deadline day, and I anticipate all of the deals negatively affecting my guys. I’m terrified Brian Fuentes is going to become but a setup man. The big rumor as of this writing is Manny Ramirez to Florida, Jeremy Hermida to Pittsburgh and Jason Bay to Boston. Considering Ramirez is a cancer who wants a long term deal at age 36, has quit on his team and is represented by Scott Boras, is this too good a deal to be true for Boston or is it just me?
Greg (11:48 a.m.): If Fuentes foils me again I don’t know what I’ll do. Why on earth would they trade him? The Rockies are still in the race for god’s sake!!
My pitching is beyond pathetic. I have three of the four Cardinal starters going against the Braves this week. The one guy I don’t have, Braden Looper, tossed a gem on Tuesday and picked up a win. The Cards won by five runs each of the past two nights, but my guys, Todd Wellemeyer and Chris Carpenter, were both mediocre and didn’t get the wins. The Braves lineup has been missing Chipper, Brian McCann and Mark Teixeira yet my WHIP in these games is hideous.
I’ve also been witnessing every Dodger starter throw complete game gems against the Giants, while my guy, Hiroki Kuroda, continues to get mauled.
I love the claim that Manny Ramirez is one of the top two or three right-handed hitters in the game. Uhh, not any more. He’s still a pretty good offensive player, but I can think of 10 right-handed hitters in my sleep I’d rather have up in most situations. Let’s see: Pujols, David Wright, Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Braun, A-Rod, Jermaine Dye, Josh Hamilton (does he switch hit?), Russell Martin, Derrek Lee, Chipper Jones, Lance Berkman, Carlos Lee. There, that’s 12, and you’ll have to trust me that I did that in under a minute.
As a lifelong Sox fan, do you agree that this is no longer the same Manny?
Jeff (12:07 p.m.): Manny is not the same but still kind of enigmatic. There are times when I think he could recapture his peak abilities because he is just going through the motions up there, but overall he isn’t worth anywhere near what he wants or is getting paid. He’ll find Florida’s dimensions frustrating as well. He needs to go. The Red Sox are obviously affected by this soap opera and Manny has made it clear he wants out. Let’s get this done.
Speaking of cancers, the Rockets have apparently decided that Ron Artest would be a good fit for them. Don’t they already have A) a superb wing defender in Shane Battier and B) another inefficient offensive player in Tracy McGrady? Have you seen his comments triggered by a Yao Ming quote? Dumbfoundingly hilarious. I’ve yet to see anyone at least say this is a questionable move for Houston. I know the risk is low in terms of what they gave up and Artest’s contract situation, but aren’t the Rockets playing with fire here?
Greg (12:35 p.m.): The two biggest problems the Rockets have are 1. Yao Ming not being able to stay healthy - and - 2. McGrady being severely overrated. I know he has talent, but all I ever see out of him are off-balance line-drive jumpers. He’s also a poor defender at times and I’ve yet to see him do anything in the clutch. I would jump all over him in the fourth round of our fantasy draft, however.
With that said, if they keep Artest off I Love New York III the Rockettes could be a force in the West.
I still can’t believe that Elton Brand is a Sixer. And speaking of the Sixers, why is Andre Miller one of the guys you or I never want to draft? He’s phenomenal every year.
Jeff (12:42 p.m.): Miller was sublime last year. His assists fell a lot though while his points went up. Miller doesn’t hit threes and his steals are average at best. Nevertheless, another big year is in the cards. He might be back to 13 or 14 points but those assists should be up to eight or nine. He averaged 25 points and 12 assists a game last year right? Wait, he didnt’?
This has been a tumultuous offseason in the NBA. Baron Davis AND Marcus Camby on the same team? The two biggest fantasy injury risks, together at last. Of course last season they were the pillars of health. Everyone is headed overseas as well - Childress, Krstic, Navarro, Delfino, Luis Lopez, Luis Rodriguez, Chiavarini, etc. Back to the Artest situation for my question: Where does John Salmons get drafted next year?
Greg (1:50 p.m.): With Artest I think Salmons would have gone in the top two rounds. Without Artest, I’m taking Salmons three weeks before our draft.
Looks like Griffey is headed to the White Sox. If this means that Corey Patterson, ye of the Screw Greg Hall of Fame, is going to be starting again, I won’t be able to take it. I suffered with this guy three years ago in Chicago and rolled the dice with him once again this year. He’s batting in the neighborhood of .185 and last week I was finally able to get rid of him after winning the open bid on Casey Blake.
There’s no way that Patterson will get another crack at starting, right? Right!!??
Jeff (2:08 p.m.): Calm down. Ok, now freak out. Prepare for Patterson’s resurgence in a way that will shave years off your life. Whatever happens, it will have maximum negative impact on the various health ailments you are afflicted with. Pattersonitis is deadly and incurable.
It now appears the Manny deal is dead. Speaking of dead deals, there’s a 73-way tie for the deadest between every trade I’ve tried to make in my league in the last week. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will trade with me, no matter how good my offers are. Meanwhile, every other day there’s a complete ripoff deal going through, generally helping my main competitors. Get this: I offered Magglio Ordonez, Miguel Tejada and Joe Saunders for David Ortiz, Brad Hawpe and Francisco Liriano. I was turned down while being told what a good offer it was. You must be kidding. I think I’m being shut out by the rest of the league. Just to get Hanley Ramirez, I’m offering close to my whole team just to get someone to say yes. I had a deal for A-Rod and Brandon Phillips on the table but was turned down when the guy traded Phillips for J.J. Hardy today because, and I quote, hence the quotation marks, “He asked for Phillips first.” Ah, I see.
Didn’t you say you didn’t want to talk about baseball? Now look at me, I’m a mess. I should have listened. Let’s move on, quickly: Did you know Isaac Bruce is on San Francisco this season, and the No. 1 receiver in a Mike Martz offense?
Greg (2:55 p.m.): You’re kidding me, the reverend in San Fran? Is he 40 yet? Who on earth is the other receiver in St. Louis, some rookie, right? I can’t wait to draft some no name running backs just for the expression on Uncle Vito’s face as he is scrambling through his magazine looking up Felix Jones.
My god, we’re only a month away from our football draft. I know we wonder this every year, but there’s no way the Cha League continues, is there?
Did someone in your league actually trade Brandon Phillips for JJ Hardy? Why don’t you give Wood a try? he’s always ready and willing to try to rip you off… and then get ripped off by everyone else.
Back to football, who is this year’s Earnest Graham?
Jeff (3:53 p.m.): How about Ray Rice from Rutgers, backing up Willis McGahee? Doesn’t it feel like McGahee is like 40? He’s probably 25 or something. Somehow someone other than Jacobs, Bradshaw or Ward will be great this year at RB for the Giants at some point.
Some more guys who have changed teams that I had no idea until recently: DeShaun Foster is on San Francisco; Alge Crumpler is on Tennessee; Lamont Jordan is on New England; Chris Brown and Mike Bell are both on Houston.
Does the fantasy football draft even matter anymore? It seems like it is all about who picks up the best random backup RB in Week 5.
Greg (4:25 p.m.): It’s always been about being lucky enough to pick the best random backup. You should be embarassed that you win the league every year. Is “Algae” Crumpler (that’s a Vito/Danny combo) really on Tennessee? Speaking of the Titans, how horrendous was Vince Young last year? And of course we both had him.
Did I tell you that I listened to our first three podcasts on my way back from South Africa? At one point, when we were joking about who the best random third string running backs were going to be, I said that Earnest Graham was going to be great. I also mentioned about three or four other guys who are now out of the league.
Looks like the baseball trade deadline is a dud. Did the Griffey thing actually happen? If Fuentes remains a Rockie, all that means is that he will now get demolished beyond recognition.
The Cubs are the most frustrating team in which to own players. I have Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez and Kosuke Fukudome - basically the heart of easily the best order in the NL and they do nothing every game. Jim Edmonds, Ryan Theriot, Reed Johnson, Geovany Soto and Mike Fontenot do all the hitting.
Ok, I’m about to burst several blood carrying vessels as I talk about baseball. Have a great weekend.
