My team is a petri dish of statistical oddities.

James Loney is on fire, hitting nearly .400 over the last two week, yet has one RBI to show for it since May 31. Loney hit .474 last week alone and didn’t have an RBI… Willy Taveras has 30 steals, including five in one game on Saturday - yet has only 30 runs scored for the season. When was the last time a full-time player had more steals than runs scored? If I played in a 4×4 league, he’d have 55 runs scored right now… Oliver Perez is 3-0 with a 2.48 ERA in four starts on my bench this year… 11 of my 14 regular position players are hitting below their career batting averages as of this writing.

Four out of five doctors recommend that I stop here.