In honor of Independence Day, I’d like to detonate a cherry bomb on my pathetic NL-only team.

At this point of the year, it is virtually impossible in my 11-team league to drop 13 points in a matter of two weeks, but that is exactly what I did. And how did I accomplish this feat, you ask? Well, when every one of your starters gets mauled beyond recognition each time out, this is the result. Unless you are feint of heart, take a gander at some of my recent starts:

Randy Johnson…
July 1 3.2 IP 7 ER 8 H 3 BB
June 25 6.0 IP 2 ER 8 H 2 BB
June 20 8.0 IP 7 ER 11 H 2 BB
June 14 4.1 IP 7 ER 10 H
June 9 5.2 IP 4 ER 6 H 5 BB

Joel Pineiro…
July 2 5.0 IP 4 ER 11 H 1 BB
June 27 7.2 IP 7 ER 10 H 2 BB

Todd Wellemeyer…
July 1 5.0 IP 6 ER 12 H 2 BB
June 26 5.0 IP 0 ER 4 H
June 13 3.1 IP 8 ER 8 H 3 BB

Randy Wolf…
July 2 4.0 IP 7 ER 6 H 4 BB
June 27 3.1 IP 2 ER 8 H 5 BB
June 22 6.0 IP 2 ER 6 H 4 BB
June 17 4.0 IP 5 ER 6 H 2 BB

George Washington…
June 30 3.0 IP 10 ER 9 H 5 BB
*The General was never known for his control

The good news is that my lifetime ERA in interleague play dropped from 47.00 to 42.00. In these two weeks, my WHIP has gone from below 1.30 to an abysmal 1.383.

Despite my collapse, I’ve remained upbeat despite bursting into tears while on the phone with Jeff the other night. I had one semi-major decision to make this week as my main Kabuki, Hiroki Kuroda, was coming off the DL. The question was, do I bring back Kuroda for a start at Houston or do I wait a start and give the promising Sean Gallagher the ball in San Francisco? Needless to say, I started Gallagher who yielded three runs in 5.0 innings of a Cubbie loss. Kuroda, who got bombed in San Diego before being placed on the DL with shoulder tendonitis, wielded a five-hit shutout as I remain desperate in all of the pitching categories.

I’d like to thank our Founding Fathers for their efforts 232 years ago. Without them there’d be no rotisserie baseball. To celebrate, I just might munch on a few sticks of dynamite.