It’s getting to the point where I look at self-proclaimed fantasy football experts in the same way I look at members of the Evangelical Church - in absolute horror. Remember in elementary school when our teachers would tell the kids who sucked in certain sports that participation was the most important thing? Well for me, participation in fantasy football is reminiscent of trying to climb that idiotic rope in gym class, as I did so using the upper body strength of a pinwheel.
My Rotowhine cohort, Jeff, should be ashamed of himself for seemingly winning the Big Daddy League every year. Before fantasy football magazines graced newsstands, those of us with an average memory and decent horse sense about the NFL could do relatively well in this hobby. Today, every uncivil servant with $7.95 in his pocket can pick up the #1 Rated Fantasy Football Magazine to have as good a chance as anyone to win.
Through our perennial football aggravations, the one thing Jeff and I have figured out is that it doesn’t matter who you draft. Take two kickers, a defense and a tight end in the first four rounds and you can still claim your league title. As long as you keep up with injuries and make wise pickups, the holiest of grails can be yours.
This brings me to the most important aspect of your drafts - selecting backup running backs. Here, with a little luck, is where you can put your MENSA cards to good use. Did anyone draft Ernest Graham last year? How about Ryan Grant? Kolby Smith anyone?
With that in mind, Rotowhine has spared no expense in sending me to all 32 training camps to pinpoint the next unknown fantasy heroes. Here goes nothing… literally.
1. San Diego - Darren Sproles and Marcus Thomas
Ever try tackling a fire hydrant moving at warp speed? That’s what it must be like trying to take down Sproles, who is only 5′6″, is as strong as an ox and possesses the flexibility of Gumby. We think he’ll have first crack if Tomlinson goes down, but also keep your good eye on Pokey, er Thomas, who we really know absolutely nothing about. LDT is now in his late 20s, and as we could see late last year, injuries are beginning to catch up with him.
2. New York Giants - Ahmad Bradshaw
We have a sinking suspicion that if given the chance, Bradhsaw could be a top 10 back in the NFL. Not on the Giants’ depth chart to start the ‘07 season, a Brandon Jacobs injury along with a pathetic Reuben Droughns carved a path for the shifty Bradshaw to outshine Derrick Ward and claim a timeshare in the backfield. The playoffs is where he really took off, easily outperforming Jacobs, particularly in big spots. Jacobs is an enormous talent in his own right, but he is an accident waiting to happen and will likely be in the training room as much as he is on the field. Bradshaw should be scooped up in the seventh round.
3. Baltimore Ravens - Ray Rice
The diminutive Rutgers product is capable of capturing the hearts and minds of those whose surname is not McGahee. Willis, on the other hand, is coming off a surprisingly good year, but is one of those guys who is probably rolling his ankle on a pretzel as of this writing. A couple of fellas named P.J. Daniels and Cory Ross are also waiting in the wings, but it is Rice who will make the most of the opportunity when it is presented.
4. Denver - Ryan Torain
Yes, we know that Torain fractured his elbow in training camp and will probably miss the first six weeks of the season. We also know that the troika of Selvin Young, Andre Hall and Anthony Aldridge probably won’t cut it and that Mike Shanahan hasn’t been this giddy about a young running back since Blake Ezor was lighting it up nearly 20 years ago. Be patient with the talented Torain and the payoff will be worth the wait.
5. Arizona - Tim Hightower
Tell me that this name won’t appear in the Arizona boxscores this year. Edgerrin James is on his last legs and hasn’t been on his first legs since his days scampering behind Indy’s huge offensive line. All we know about Hightower is that he is a power back who is built low to the ground; two excellent qualities in a RB. Expect him to get the goal line carries, and if James goes down, react quickly.
6. Clveland - Jason Wright
Jamal Lewis proved to his detractors that there was still a little scooter left in the pie as he bounced back with a 1,300-yard ‘07 campaign. Now that the hunger to re-prove himself is likely gone, expect the 29-year old with lots of mileage on his body to miss some time. Enter Wright who averaged 4.6 yards per carry in limited work. He’ll have to fend off Jerome Harrison, but Wright is a solid bet to have a few strong weeks.
7. St. Louis Rams - Antonio Pittman/Brian Leonard
Both Leonard and Pittman were adequate upon Steven Jackson’s predicted injury-plagued ‘07 season. With Jackson now holding out, it’s possible that one will receive significant time as the starter. Even if Jackson signs, his long frame is a detriment to him staying healthy. The Rams will often be playing from behind which means fewer carries, but more open running lanes as teams defend the pass. Other owners will think this is Michael Pittman and scoff at the thought of drafting him.
8. Tennessee - Chris Johnson/Chris Henry
Having a pair of Chrises backing up LenDale White will confuse fellow owners. Spelling Chrises is most confusing of all. Regardless, White was a Whine Cellar sleeper last year and proved to be capable. But it doesn’t seem as if the Titans are that enamored with him and he is a major injury risk. Either the rookie Johnson or second-year man Henry will have a solid year… we’re just not sure which one.
9. Jacksonville - Chauncey Washington
Gotta love guys named Chauncey… they play with a chip on their shoulders. It will be worth drafting this guy just to see the looks on the other owners’ faces as they leaf through their boobish magazines looking for his name. And it’s really not a bad selection. Fred Taylor is in his 30s and a lifelong injury risk; MJD’s size alone makes him an injury concern; best of all, the Jagwires run block as well as any team in the NFL.
10. Houston - Steve Slaton
Here’s another rookie we have no clue about, but we do know this: Ahman Green will not start 16 games. The rookie Slaton has as good a chance as anyone on the roster to succeed. The Texans obviously run block well as Ron Dayne has actually been productive when called upon the past two years. Wait a minute, is Dayne still on the roster? No matter, the Dayne gravy train will end and the Slaton express will begin.
